Our age is starved for intimacy yet terrified of it. The majority of us live in quiet desperation, hungry for the touch of love and, above all, for the touch of the love of God. Yet, such is our fear that the great majority of us also shy away from such contact. On the human level, that has been one contributor to the enormous frequency of failed relationships and shattered families, which in turn leads to a generation of children who grow up anesthetized to the possibility of real union with another. But on the spiritual level as well, it has led to a safe and lonely view of God. A God who is the Force. A God who is not even a who (that’s too intimate), but is merely a what: a vast, pervasive Something flowing through the ether like solar wind, requiring nothing but that we feel good about ourselves and administer weak salves of “self-affirmation” to our sadness. This spiritual barricade to intimacy we have built is our comfort and our curse. It leaves us feeling safe from betrayal (and command) by God but also horribly alone as we sit consuming, filling up the void with TV, the internet and chocolate cookies. The good news of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist is that we
need not starve but can be filled. It is the shocking announcement that God, the Lover of our souls, is more than a vague Force. He is as concrete and specific as a kiss on the lips—or the nails through His hands and feet. It is the astonishingly good news that Love has come to touch us—physically and not just as a disembodied spirit—in the Body, Blood, Spirit, Soul and Divinity of Jesus of Nazareth, the Word made flesh.
(from Beginning Apologetics 3).
Visitation bulletin 5-30-2010
Visitation Catholic Church
Saturday, May 7, 2011
CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
(From the Lighter Side of Theology) CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.
Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad and fried chicken, then the church needs to take a vote on the brand and wattage of the buld and who will actually change it.
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish :
What's a light bulb?
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.
Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad and fried chicken, then the church needs to take a vote on the brand and wattage of the buld and who will actually change it.
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish :
What's a light bulb?
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